Mental health, coding, maths and life, and how it kinda links to my (potential) departure.

Published on Feb 7, 2025

Authored by KTrain5369

I have been on the internet for… well, it’s hard to say because I don’t keep track of it. And I doubt I can find a concrete answer with my accounts. But safe to say, quite a long time.

In my internet lifetime, I’ve met amazing people and connected with tons of others, including (and this counts as a shoutout section, sorted by no particular order):

• - The NotEssential and UseVital teams (blryface, WorldWidePixel, Nitrrine, devin and omo50) for essentially inducting me into the Minecraft modding space, no matter how minor of an impact I/we made. Extra shoutout to NotEssential since that got me way more into webdev than I first thought.
• - My current Hypixel guild masters, both current and former (TheGoldenDragon and Lexvato) for giving me a nice space to chat with other people.
• - The SkyClient and Polyfrost teams, for trusting me to handle their support tickets.
• - Certain Hypixel SkyBlock mod discords for putting up with my initial yappiness in their support system.
• - The Modrinth team for making their incredible stuff that I use, whether that be their mod hosting service or their API, and the Pyro team for letting me test Modrinth Servers early.
• - The Prism Launcher discord, for answering my question when I first got there and basically got myself into a ton of Minecraft modding related stuff.
• - The Pridecraft Studios folks for letting me automate translations after an accident.
• - And some other folks who I can't mention here, either because I forgot why they should get a shoutout or it's because of a couple of projects not quite released as of this moment.
  
  

  Seriously. Looking back at this, it’s quite impressive for me to be doing this considering my life. I for sure wouldn’t have made it to my current position without everyone listed above. It’s amazing how the internet can be such a place full of welcoming people, despite the reputation among normies.

  
  

  Also a special shoutout to my IRL friends who I will not name for obvious reasons. They were really amazing and awesome.

  And, because IRLs are able to, yk, contact me outside of socials, the only thing you guys really need to know is the following:

  • - I'm 90% sure any coding projects I'm doing with/for you guys should still be in progress.
  • - You can still contact me via other methods you have ahold of, and I'll respond there.
  
  

  However, good things don’t usually last forever - and unfortunately, the same is happening here. At least, it’s a possibility.

  So here’s the plan until March/April:

  • - Bluesky may not be actively used (as if I don't go on there actively anyways)
  • - Coding progress may slow but not be entirely gone.
  • - I may be less active in the usual areas.
  • - I might not respond to all DMs, but will respond to most.
  • - My help in servers will slow down dramatically
    
    

    During March/April at some point (if I remember), I will put out another blog post, detailing progress in life, and more concrete plans, but to give a bit of an early heads up, this is the plan (for now) from that time until June/July:

    • - Bluesky (and Discord possibly) may have none to little activity, despite me being "online"
    • - Coding progress might stop. Git accounts will remain, but GPG keys may be revoked early.
    • - DMs I respond to may slow even more.
    • - I will no longer help in servers.
    
    

    Once June/July hits, I’ll post an update, including whether or not I’ll continue being online, and any other changes that I didn’t announce.

    
    

    But why?

    I hear you ask. And fair enough - I am pretty active and help in stuff and code, so it doesn’t make sense right?

    
    

    Well, the answer is due to a ton of mental pressure and scheduling.

    
    

    To keep it short, my personal life had caused mental breakdowns towards the end of last year and this year, and in the past, having recognised that I have been driven to the point of wanting to, uh, “slash my heart” in the past due to a culmination of reasons including physical abuse, I realised that while my online life was amazing and healthy, my personal life needed some caretaking too. Specifically, I needed to ramp up on some studying (and you could probably guess, but it was maths.), so to take a bit of a break or even just a step back is the better choice than trying to balance both in its current state.

    
    

    And yeah. That’s kinda it. It has been amazing, but the time has come where I took a step back. I could be back, since coding is basically my life, and I like the online world a lot, a place where you don’t get judged physically but characteristically. But I might be moving to a new account, especially since this account had some negative associations during my period of life.

    
    
    

    See you around. —KTrain